Colban sees his godson

Colban was thankful that Maud did not seem terribly talkative as she took him up the stairs and to her son’s room. He had been afraid she would make a scene – particularly when he had announced Malcolm’s marriage. But considering the state in which he had found Sigefrith, it wasn’t at all certain that Sigefrith would even have noticed.

“Mama!” a small voice called out from behind the door as they drew near.

“Why, you naughty boy!” the Queen said. “You’re supposed to be sleeping. But I have brought you a visitor.”

“Papa!”

“No, darling. ‘Mama’ and ‘Papa’ are the only two words he knows so far,” she explained to Colban as she lit the candle. “This is your godfather. His name is Colban, just like yours.”

Colban was struck at once by the resemblance between the boy and his own children – and between the boy and his father.

“May I hold him?”

“Colban, you’ll be a good boy and let your godfather hold you, won’t you?” Her voice was soft and loving, and she suddenly seemed quite unlike the sulking or shrieking woman Colban had known.

“Mama!” the boy whined, reaching up his arms to her.

“Oh, no! You know it’s time for bed. If you want out of your cradle, it must be in your godfather’s arms and nowhere else.”

The little boy sighed in resignation as Colban picked him up. “It’s a brave lad you are,” he said softly to him in Gaelic. “You’ll no be crying.”

He carried him over to the candlelight and studied the little face. Meanwhile the boy busied himself plucking at the feathers and medallions he wore across his chest.

It was incredible that Sigefrith hadn’t recognized Malcolm yet in the boy’s eyes. Or perhaps he had, and that explained the sorry state to which he had fallen in less than a year. Perhaps the man was drinking himself into denial.

“It’s your father’s own eyes you have,” Colban sighed. “It’s nothing but trouble they will make for you.”

“What are you saying to him?” Maud asked.

“Does my son speak Gaelic with him?”

“As Sigefrith asked.”

“Then someday perhaps he will tell you what I have said.”

Colban stroked the soft hair and smiled into the little face until he had received a smile in return. “What a man you will make!” he said so that Maud could understand. “I shall see you tomorrow, and you will meet your – you will meet my son, whose name is the same as ours. It will be quite a confusion these coming days. Now down to bed with you. Perhaps you will dream of horses, as your father always did when he was a boy.”

“He did?” Maud asked, her voice trembling.

“Aye,” Colban grunted, sorry he had not said the last in Gaelic.

“Good night, darling,” Maud said as she bent to kiss her son. “Dream of horses.”

She blew out the candle and led Colban out into the hall, where the summer moonlight streamed in through the tall window.

Colban headed for the stairs, but Maud grabbed his arm. “Wait. I must speak with you – I must.”

“Let us speak and be done,” Colban said. He knew this would be necessary.

“What did you think of him?”

“He’s a fine lad. He will make a fine man.”

“Will you tell Malcolm about him?”

“I shall. He will surely ask.”

“He hasn’t forgotten him?”

“No, he has no forgotten him,” Colban said, growing irrationally angry.

“He has forgotten me.”

“I hope he has!” he growled softly.

“You made him marry,” she said, with a voice that was suddenly vicious. “You did. I know you did. He loves me. You forced him.”

“I have been trying to ‘force’ him for years. It is only now that he has agreed. Your Majesty may make of that what Your Majesty will.”

“I hate you!”

“Would you have him spend the rest of his life alone because he can’t have you?”

“Why not? I must spend the rest of my life with that brute downstairs because I can’t have him.”

“He is what you have made him. If you are wise you will see that it is better for you if you make him again what he was. I hope there is still time.”

“What will you tell Malcolm about me?”

“I shall tell him nothing. He is too wise to ask me. If he cares to know, he will ask his cousin, who is soft enough to tell him.”

“Egelric is going with you?” she asked eagerly.

“I hope he will. Do no put him in a dishonorable position by asking him to carry a message to Malcolm. He is too fine a man to serve the likes of you.”

Maud flushed and looked out the window.

“Your husband needs to get away from here for a time. I hope that when he returns he will be a better and stronger man than I find him tonight. I would do that much for you, out of love for him. If you are wise, you will make what you can of him then.”

He left her standing before the window, her head high and her eyes full of tears.