Matilda and Leofric hide among the barrels
“Who’s there?” Leofric called uneasily upon hearing a shuffling behind the barrels.
“Only the mead fairy,” Matilda giggled.
“Damn! Next time I shan’t ask, I shall simply come groping in the dark. Where are you?”
“Back here!” A hand went up in the gloom and waved at him.
“Are you drinking straight from the barrels now, woman?”
“Only among them.”
He felt his way back into the corner where she hid and sat heavily beside her. “You had the same idea I did.”
“Thirsty?”
“Like anything. Share your cup?”
“Certainly, but you had better hurry. I have quite a start on you.”
“I can make it up in no time. Let’s have it here.” Leofric drained the cup at once and passed it back to her to be refilled. “Where’s Alred?” he asked.
“Oops,” she giggled as she splashed mead on her skirt.
“Need some help?”
“Please. I could ask you where is Sir Leila.”
“I don’t mind telling you that she’s sleeping. Now where’s Alred? I want to know whether I should have come armed.”
“Oh, he won’t care. He’s up saying goodnight to the boys.”
“How long does that take?”
“I don’t know. Hours.”
He handed her the cup. “Gives us plenty of time. Isn’t that a Mama’s job, though?”
“Oh, I see them all day long. And the way he keeps them up, it simply means they’ll be grouchy as spiders in the morning.”
“Spiders?”
“I don’t know. Spiders are not very friendly, are they?”
Leofric laughed. “You won’t be very friendly in the morning, as drunk as you are now.”
“I’m not drunk.”
“That’s proof you are. Isn’t it my turn?”
“You will simply finish it.”
“And pour us another.” After drinking down the cup and refilling it, he said, “Now that I finally have a chance to chat with you, Matilda, I want to know something.”
“What?”
“What the hell did you do to Alred?”
“What?” she howled.
“I’ve been here two days and I haven’t heard him say ‘Jupiter’ once.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“That is what I should like to know. He has been taking the name of that deity in vain as long as I have known him, which is longer than you have.”
“Perhaps Jupiter got angry and smote him,” she snorted.
“He certainly looks smitten.”
“What makes you think I did something to him?”
“It seemed the most logical place to start, since he lives and breathes for you.”
“I don’t know,” she grumbled. “He’s not sleeping well lately. Give me that already.”
He passed her the cup and asked, “If he’s not sleeping well, it means you aren’t doing enough to tire him out.”
“Oh, you think that is his problem!” she laughed. “‘Most logical place to start’ for a man!”
“That is what we live and breathe.”
“You perhaps. Alred does occasionally think of other things.”
“Like what?”
“Poetry?”
Leofric laughed. “An unsatisfying alternative for both parties.”
“Oh, you’re disgusting, Leofric. Pass the cup.”
He laughed again. “You’re too precious. What’s the matter with a man who spends the evening putting his brats to sleep when he has a woman such as you getting herself drunk among the barrels? ‘You’re disgusting, Leofric, pass the cup!’” he squeaked.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t disgusting too,” she giggled.
“Leila’s a sweet girl,” he sighed, “but the possibilities for fun with her are somewhat limited.”
“She doesn’t get drunk among the barrels with men who are not her husband?”
“That’s not the sort of fun I meant,” he laughed. “Not the strange men part of it. She doesn’t even like her husband to get drunk among the barrels.”
“That’s because you are disgusting when you drink.”
“So are you, Matilda. Now pass the cup!”
