Lili is awoken early

“You’re awake,” Egelric observed after his bleary eyes had consented to focus on the pale object moving about at the other end of the room.

“Oh no!” Lili laughed and turned to him. “I was trying to get dressed and sneak out before you ever woke. But I’m awake before you!” she said triumphantly, content with her small victory.

She stood naked before the window in the rosy light of dawn. Seen from behind she had seemed small and delicate, like a girl no older than his daughter—though it was true it had been many years since he had seen his daughter undressed.

But from the front there was no doubt she was a woman. Her small breasts were growing heavy and her belly round, and even in the dim light he could see how her laughing eyes were soft and pensive and inward-​looking, as they had been ever more often in the last weeks. He had surprised her thinking about her baby. He was almost ashamed he had spoken.

“It’s Sunday, though,” he protested, as if her victory had come unfairly.

“Even so! You always wake before I do on Sunday, too.”

“But not when Leofric is here,” he groaned.

“That’s right,” she laughed. “Did you have too much to drink?”

“I don’t know how much you consider ‘too much,’ but I feel like the devil’s doormat this morning.”

She laughed again and then gasped and stared down at her belly. “What is that?”

“Did he kick you?”

“No! What is that… bump… thing?” She prodded it gently with her finger. “Oh no! It went away!”

“Bring it here and let me see.”

“Is it a foot?” she asked breathlessly as she walked over to the bed. “But it went away.”

“Let me see,” he repeated.

Egelric laid a hand on her belly. It was certainly not the first time he had done so, but the gesture brought up sudden, stark memories of Elfleda, who was gone, and of Finn, who was gone, and of Sela, who was gone, and of Wulf, who alone remained, though he was a boy of three now. The gesture brought up so much stark, sudden sorrow.

He should have known better than to love these two: he should have known that fortune was so rarely in his favor. But he couldn’t help it. They were more than he deserved, but they were his, and it would be a crime not to love them. He very nearly told her so, but then the child turned over in her belly, and another bump appeared on the other side.

“There it is!” she cried softly. “What is it? Don’t touch it! Is it a foot?”

“That?” Egelric shook his head dismissively. “That’s only a nose.”

“It is?”

“If a child of mine has an appendage of that size, it can only be his nose.”

“His…” She suddenly laughed, and the bump wriggled away again. “I wish you would laugh sometimes when you joke! I never know when you are being serious.”

“I am being serious,” he said, but he had the generosity to smile.

“I don’t believe you,” she said and pretended to pout. “And anyway I like your nose.”

“Now you’re the one who is not laughing when she’s joking.”

“I do!”

He sighed and laid his head against her stomach. She never cringed away from his touch. But this was not the most remarkable thing about her.

“Be careful—he will kick you,” she warned.

“I deserve it.”

“Never.”

She clucked like a hen and smoothed his tousled hair down the back of his head with both hands. This was the most remarkable thing about her. She touched him even when it was unnecessary. She was a model wife. He could not fathom the courage and strength required to play such a role for eight months. He wondered why such a strong and brave woman needed a man at all—and why him, if she did.

“I wonder why?” he asked aloud.

“Why what?”

“I think you aren’t the only one who woke before I did,” he said as the baby turned about again beneath his cheek.

“He always wakes when I lie around and do nothing.”

“Is that why you’re up before I am?”

“He woke me.”

“Aren’t you still tired?”

“A little,” she shrugged.

“Why don’t you come back to bed?”

“Because he doesn’t like it if I lie around and do nothing!”

“Then why don’t we lie around and do something?”

“Ohhhh!” she laughed. “I thought you were the devil’s doormat today.”

“I should rather be an angel’s pillow.”

“You only want to be Lili’s husband,” she pretended to scold.

“It’s that or Leofric’s friend, and I suppose he feels like the devil’s boot scraper this morning.”

She laughed and climbed onto the bed.

“Careful!” Egelric cautioned and helped her to lie down, clucking at her like the hen she had pretended to be a few moments before. She had not been careless, but he was not ashamed to show her his solicitude.

His desire was another matter. However, she was a model wife, and had never so much as hinted that she did not want to be touched. If he did not think of how she came to be there, he could have believed that she wanted him to touch her. Certainly it was unnecessary for her to pull his head down to hers so that she could be kissed.