Bertie is accused

Egelric found nothing on his porch the following night, but in the morning when he went out to see Matilda, he found a dead blackbird, its head thrown back and its wings spread in a dreadfully contorted position. Damn that cat! He didn’t want Baby picking up and playing with such things.

He bent over and picked the bird up by one of its clawed feet, but he dropped it and leapt back when he saw a bright flash under its body. He flipped it over with his foot and bent over to study it, then straightened, his face flushed with anger. No cat had done this! The bird had a long iron nail embedded in its breast. Some joke of that scamp Bertie Hogge no doubt. Well, he wasn’t laughing.

“Where’s that boy of yours?” he growled upon stepping through Gunnilda’s open door.

“Why, what’s he done now? Bertie!”

“He thinks he’s a cat, that’s what. But he forgets that cats don’t use tools.” He held up the impaled bird for her inspection.

“Bertie! Get in here!”

The lad ran in from the yard. “I didn’t do it!” he said immediately. “What did I do?”

“This!” she shrieked, pointing at the bird. “You left this dead bird on Egelric’s doorstep, didn’t you?”

“No I never did!” he shouted back. “I never killed no bird and I never left no bird nowhere!”

“Just like you never put no dead mouse in his lordship’s pants!”

“That was different!”

Egelric snorted, trying not to laugh.

“Well, just you go tell your Da you need a good spanking. And if you didn’t put this bird over there, then he can just spank you for whatever you did do that I don’t know about yet. Go on you, get!”

Once he was gone, Egelric burst out laughing. “You do know Alwy never lays a hand on that boy?”

“I know, but I let them both think I don’t. But I don’t think he’ll put any more birds on your doorstep. He never does the same bad thing twice anyhow. Quit your laughing, you. I hope you have a boy and then we’ll see who is laughing!”