She was being squeezed in a long hug.

To Britamund’s astonishment, she did not even have the chance to see the look on the Queen’s face before she was being squeezed in a long hug, complete with a gentle back-​​patting.

She had summoned all her courage and her pride to prepare for shock and outrage, but she had never dreamt that she would be greeted as one in need of comforting. She was so unprepared for this that she immediately began to cry.

“Oh, Eadie! I thought you would be so angry at me!”

'I thought you would be so angry at me!'

“Angry! Oh, dear… You know, Brit, the men are in such a pother this morning, we women must stick together.”

“Which men?” Britamund asked warily, thinking of Dunstan, but Eadgith was already speaking again.

“Now, you’ve done something very foolish, Brit, and the first thing we must do is determine just how foolish it was.”

'The first thing we must do is determine just how foolish it was.'

Eadgith looked at her expectantly, but although Britamund suspected she knew what she meant, she was too afraid to speak and say too much. Instead she studied the freckles across Eadgith’s cheeks, hoping that would give her the appearance of looking Eadgith in the eyes, and said nothing.

“Oh, dear…” Eadgith whispered after a moment. She licked her lips and then leaned in to whisper, “So, Brit, you remember when we had a talk about the things that men and women do…”

“We did not do that!” Britamund gasped.

'We did not do that!'

“That can mean many things, Brit. Possibly… possibly a few other things I haven’t told you about yet.”

Britamund was aghast. What if some of the things Emma and Margaret whispered about were true?

“And, you know, dear, sometimes a young man will not tell the truth about what he’s doing, or…” Britamund could hear her rubbing her hands together anxiously. “…or say it doesn’t count if one… if one… or if one doesn’t…”

'or if one doesn't...'

“We only kissed!” Britamund sobbed and turned her face away, angry that Eadgith and everybody were taking something so sweet and making it seem so shameful.

“Your brother said he was…”

“What?”

Eadgith whispered, “…lying on top of you…”

“We were only kissing!”

“Brit, please keep your voice down,” Eadgith murmured.

She spoke gently, but Britamund was further humiliated to have needed to be reminded.

“I am sorry to distress you, honey, but we need to be clear. Did he ever touch you anywhere underneath your dress?”

'Did he ever touch you anywhere underneath your dress?'

Britamund was about to angrily deny it. Then she realized it would have been a lie.

She closed her eyes and whispered, “Only… only the top part…”

“Oh, dear!”

“But you don’t understand, Eadie! We love each other!”

“Oh, Brit! Didn’t I explain to you that a young man will say anything to… when he’s…”

'Didn't I explain to you that a young man will say anything?'

“But it’s true! He says it all the time! Not only when we’re…”

“Brit…”

“And he says it in his letters, too! We have a secret code…”

“Oh, Brit!” Eadgith moaned. “Secrets, and letters! Oh, dear! And your poor father was always so scrupulous about never reading your letters, because he didn’t want you to believe he didn’t trust you! And he was so proud of you!”

Britamund also heard what she was not saying: now her father would not trust her, and now he would be ashamed.

She closed her eyes again. “You don’t understand…”

Eadgith took a deep breath and said briskly, “The important thing is that you did not let him do what cannot be undone. We can afford to wait until your father and Dunstan’s father return before deciding what is to be done.”

'The important thing is that you did not let him do what cannot be undone.'

“Did my brother tell Dunstan?”

“Theobald and I do not think… that is, we agreed that if there is no urgency, we should wait until his father returns. Dunstan is still a young man, and he might be inspired to do something foolish. His father will know how to talk sense into him.”

“But I don’t want to marry Dunstan,” Britamund blubbered.

“Brit…” Eadgith sighed.

Britamund tamped down her rising tears with her anger: “I wish I had done what cannot be undone!”

“Britamund!” Eadgith recoiled from her in shock. “Never say so to your father! So immodest a thought!”

'So immodest a thought!'

“For then I could marry Brinstan!” she said defiantly.

“Calm yourself, Brit,” Eadgith murmured. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Yes, I do!”

“No, you don’t.” Eadgith gave her a quick hug without any pats. “That sort of marriage is not a thing to be desired.”

“No? Instead I must have the sort of marriage my mother had? Married to one man and loving another? Is that a thing to be desired?”

'Is that a thing to be desired?'

Eadgith was silent for a long while. Britamund knew she had gone too far, but she was too proud to take back her words. Nor could she deny she believed them.

“I beg you,” Eadgith said softly, “if you love him, never say such a thing to your father.”

Britamund shook her head slowly. She did not know whether the gesture was meant to agree or disagree with her stepmother. However, though it was the one argument that might convince him, she knew she could never bring herself to say those words to her father. She had tried.

Eadgith slightly raised both her head and her voice.

Eadgith slightly raised both her head and her voice. “Fortunately, perhaps, we must not look to see him for weeks yet. Perhaps months. You will have plenty of time to think this over, and to realize that you have been very foolish. When your father returns, you will be able to look him in the eye and tell him you have erred, and to beg his forgiveness.”

“You don’t understand, Eadie,” Britamund whispered miserably.

'You don't understand, Eadie.'

“And likewise, if Dunstan is to be told, it will not be for months. And he is close by, so you may spend some time with him meanwhile. And you shall think of him not as the young man you don’t want to marry, but as the young man you will marry, and you shall look to like him. I know he is very fond of you.”

Britamund shook her head slowly, but Eadgith kept talking.

“That way, when he does learn, he will also be able to look back on this spring and see that you did regret what happened with Brinstan, and you did try to develop an affection for him and, pray God, succeed. And when you beg his forgiveness then, he will be more likely to grant it.”

'And when you beg his forgiveness then, he will be more likely to grant it.'

“You don’t understand,” Britamund whispered stubbornly.

Eadgith stepped away from her and lifted her head. “I do understand, Brit. When I was your age, I loved a man I could never marry. Perhaps he loved me, too. But if he had asked me to sneak into an empty bedroom with him at night, and tried to kiss me and lie on top of me and touch me beneath my gown, I would have refused. Moreover, he never would have asked it, because he is a gentleman.”

“But you married him in the end,” Britamund muttered. “You are happy in the end.”

'You are happy in the end.'

“Your mother had to die to allow me that happiness, Britamund. Your mother had to die before the eyes of your father and your brother. My happiness will always be stained with your mother’s blood. Think of that.”

Britamund hung her head.

“It is my fondest hope that you and your brothers and sisters will be very happy. But I pray you do not come to your happiness in that way.”

'I pray you do not come to your happiness in that way.'