Egelric clears up a misunderstanding

Gunnilda was startled to find Egelric standing by the door when she came around the front of the house. “Where’s Baby?” she blurted.

Iylaine had often been spending the day with her and the children, but this was the first time she had found herself alone with Egelric since the ill-​​fated dinner. And today he hadn’t brought Iylaine at all.

“Good evening, Gunnilda,” he said. “Baby is playing with the Ashdown girls. Is Alwy around?”

“No, he’s over to the castle helping with the sheep.”

“That’s fine, because I wanted to talk with you.”

“With me?” she squeaked.

“Will you invite me in?”

“Of course – come in, come in.”

“First allow me to tell you something, and then we can talk,” he said once they stood before the fire. “I am sure you remember the evening I came for dinner a few weeks ago?”

The dinner. She knew it. “Yes,” she said weakly.

“Yes. That day, after I met the Duke, I saw that there wasn’t going to be work for me at the keep, and so I went home and went back to bed after all. But it wasn’t the same as the other days, because I knew I had to come to your house for dinner, and that gave me something to think about and look forward to. You probably don’t realize what a difference that made, compared to the other days.”

He studied the back of his hand in the firelight as he continued, “And then I came here, and opened the door to find a warm house and the smell of good food, and I saw you and Alwy and Bertie talking about his puppies, and I felt like I had a family again. But then Alwy said something that was perhaps indiscreet – and then, for some reason I can’t find, I suddenly found myself shut out of that family, even if the door to the house still opens to me.”

“You scarcely speak to me these days, and look me in the eyes less. Something I’ve learned recently is that one shouldn’t wait for misunderstandings to resolve themselves, because one doesn’t always have the time. So I would like you to explain to me what happened.”

What explanation could she give that would make sense? She looked away.

“Shall I understand that this has something to do with the news that Alwy gave me?”

Gunnilda nodded – a nod so slight she hoped he might also think he had imagined it.

“I know that ladies do like to have their secrets, but you must realize that I should have learned about this sooner or later anyway? Unless it’s not true?”

She looked back at him. “I’m no liar.”

“I’m happy to hear that. It would have been a cruel trick to play on Alwy.”

His voice was growing cool and hard. Gunnilda began to feel afraid.

“Perhaps you will tell me what the problem is, as I should not like to further malign you by guessing.”

“Then I’ll tell you!” she snapped, for only her anger would allow her to say this. “You know I don’t like you and Alwy talking about me like that.”

“Like that?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I think I see. And perhaps you would like us to avoid talking about Bertie and Wynn as well, since I know where they came from?”

“That’s not funny!”

“That’s why I’m not laughing. Really, Gunnilda, you are taking this too far.”

“What do you expect me to do?” she shouted. “You tell Alwy, ‘Do this, do that,’ and then a few months later Alwy comes and practically says, ‘See, Egelric, it worked!’”

“You still haven’t forgiven me for that, have you?”

“No!”

“I see.”

“How can I? Every time I see you I have to think, ‘Maybe he’s thinking about me doing this or that or other things I don’t even know you told him!’” She stood quivering with months of pent-​​up anger and humiliation.

Egelric let out a deep sigh and, closing his eyes, leaned heavily against the fireplace. 

“Gunnilda,” he said quietly after a moment, “please believe me when I say that I have no interest whatsoever in imagining you and Alwy in any such situations. On the contrary, it is something I try very hard not to think about. I regret having had that conversation with Alwy because it has caused no end of misunderstandings between you and me. I hope it didn’t have the same effect on your relationship with Alwy. If I had known a third man, less personally involved in your lives than I, who could have helped Alwy, I would have sent Alwy to him.” 

He opened his eyes. “But that’s done now, and I can only ask you to forgive me if I hurt you. I only intended to help. I only wanted you to be happy, as I should have tried to make you had I been in Alwy’s place. Please forgive me.”

Gunnilda turned away, trembling. What did he mean? What was he trying to say? What was she supposed to say?

“Think about it then. I think – or I hope, at least, that I understand why you were angry at me, and you understand why I did what I did and that I didn’t mean to hurt you. You might still be angry at me, but there are no more misunderstandings. That’s better, isn’t it?”

When she didn’t answer, he moved towards the door. “I’ll let myself out. I have to collect Baby before she tuckers out. Good night, Gunnilda.”

“Good night!” she choked as the door clicked shut.