“Excellent,” King Sigefrith said after tasting his wine. “You don’t, ah, know why I’m here, do you?”
Leofric frowned. “No, why?”
“Trying to stupefy me with your best wine so I don’t know why I’m here?”
Leofric took a sip of his own wine in an attempt to swallow his rising sense of dread. Surely he had not done anything reproachable. Surely the runt could not see into his head. Surely the runt could not see into his dreams.
“What did I do?” he asked warily.
Sigefrith laughed. “Somebody has a guilty conscience! Why the good wine then? This stuff is as fresh as… as… Where’s Alred where I need him?”
“As fresh as the sea breeze at Hwaelnaess,” Leofric supplied before Sigefrith could think too long about Alred.
“Is anything that fresh?” Sigefrith sighed mightily, as if he had just taken a deep breath of that unforgotten air. “But we shall drink to Hwaelnaess, and to the day when our grandrunts will frolic on the shore.”
“Perhaps our runts will, if Canute has his way.”
“Then we drink to Canute as well. Perhaps we shall, by God!” Sigefrith took a hearty swallow. “And what was the other occasion, besides my unheralded arrival?”
“Ah!” Leofric laughed and lifted his cup higher still. “To Hraef! He gave his first bloody nose today.”
“Hraef! He’s what? Two?”
“I know!” Leofric said gleefully and sat his cup on the table, the better to demonstrate his second-youngest’s feat. “But Anson’s boy got him riled up – he’s three already – and Hraef simply balled up his fist, drew back his arm, and swung at him – wham!”
“What are you teaching that runt, Leof?” Sigefrith chuckled.
“Nothing! I swear on my mother’s head! He’s a natural born brawler, that boy!”
“Perhaps Leia taught him.”
“Per– Oh.”
“She’s a natural born Matilda.”
Leofric smiled heavenward in paternal beatitude.
“Now that I’ve buttered you up,” Sigefrith said, “I should tell you I’m here to break your heart.”
“What?” Leofric roared. “You haven’t been bothering Kraaia have you? Or your runt? God help him! I shall teach him where Hraef learned to bloody a nose!”
“No one has been ‘bothering’ your precious Kraaia, Leof, unless Egelric has. Listen to me. It’s Selwyn.”
“What did he do?”
“Trudi.”
“Ohhh… Wait! She wouldn’t so much as wink at me!”
Sigefrith shrugged. “You’re married. Brede’s married. Alred and Godefroy and I are married. Brit’s as cold as a tomb since Judith died, bless her. That leaves Selwyn.”
“Thought to get herself a husband, did she?”
“Oh, she did! Ogive thinks too highly of her for me to let the runt get away with it. Yet another knight I shall create on the basis of his prowess with his nether-sword,” Sigefrith sighed.
Leofric shook his head. “What is the matter with the young men today, Sigefrith?”
Sigefrith merely lifted his cup from the table and thoughtfully swirled the wine around in the bottom of it.
“Well now,” Leofric said, “that’s a shame, but I never was all that smitten by Trudi anyway.”
If only!
Sigefrith chuckled and dropped his cup onto the table again. “That’s not the heartbreaking part. I must knight the boy, and I promised Ogive I should send her and Wyn to live out at Dunellen somewhere. Preferably not within smirking distance of my new son-in-law and my already slightly disreputable daughter, but nevertheless not near to me.”
“And?”
“Therefore the King will need a new squire of the royal body. And His Majesty has chosen his half-brother-in-law.”
Leofric understood immediately. “Cedric!” he gasped.
“Cedric!” Sigefrith grinned.
“Son of a serpent! No! Not Leila’s eldest boy!”
“Why? Do you know a better boy?”
“No!” Leofric spluttered. “But he’s mine! You already took Eadgith’s eldest boy!”
“Leof, they will all eventually grow up and leave you. Moreover, Eadgith’s oldest boy will be getting Raegiming, which means we shall have to find something else for Cedric. And he will be likely to get a much better something else if he is the King’s own squire. Provided he keeps his nether-sword where it belongs.”
“But – no!”
“And don’t forget Aering is coming in November, when he turns seven,” Sigefrith smiled.
“No! You can’t take them both!”
“You’ll still have Aefen.”
“No, I shall not! I promised Leila she would have Aefen then,” he whimpered.
“Oh, dear,” Sigefrith chuckled. “That leaves you with Hraef and Naedre.”
“Hraef is two!”
“Ah, but he is a natural born brawler!” Sigefrith lifted his cup in salute.
“Don’t do this to me, runt! Son!” Leofric pleaded. “You took Sigefrith from me, you took Eadie from me, and now you want to take Cedric and Aering both?”
“You shall have Stephan when he’s seven, if you’re still kicking around these halls by then.”
Then Leofric had an idea. “Let me have Drageling.”
“Are you certain about that?” Sigefrith chuckled.
“He behaves for Old-Papa.”
“He behaves for Old-Papa because Old-Papa never says him nay! I know from whence Eadie gets it! That runt needs Ugly-Papa around to whip his behind every second day.”
Leofric dragged himself across the room to lay his head upon the mantel in misery. Then he had another idea. “Why don’t we ask Cedric what he wants?”
Sigefrith shook his head. “You know what he will say.”
“He will say that he wants whatever his father wants for him,” Leofric mumbled.
“And that obliges you to want whatever is best for him.”
“You’re breaking my heart, Sigefrith.”
“As I promise, so do I deliver.” Sigefrith lifted his cup again and took a sip. “Good wine.”
Chapters
Oh poor Leofric, though its not like he doesn't have 15 children or something running around! That guy is the master at spreading his genes around.