Colburga tells Matilda a few things

“Good morning, dear,” Matilda said as she pulled a chair up next to Colburga’s bed. “I just had the funniest little conversation with Alfric. He was asking me – ”

“How does he look to you?” Colburga asked anxiously.

“Why, he looks fine. Only a bit tired. He will feel better soon.”

“Oh, we shall. We all shall,” Colburga said wearily. “No more pain. That is the end of all men.”

“Hush, Colburga! He’s a strong little boy. And you’re a strong woman.”

“Look at me,” Colburga said, beginning a laugh and finishing with a cough.

Matilda looked at the thin, pale face and the weary green eyes that stared out from their deep shadows. “You’re only tired and worried, dear.”

“You also refused to believe Alred was dying.”

“And I was right!” Matilda said brightly. “And I don’t intend to be wrong this time, either.”

“I don’t know how that boy survived,” Colburga sighed, staring off at the far wall. “He was dying, darling. He was as good as dead. It was a miracle he lived – there is no earthly reason. I hope you have thanked the Lord.”

“I have. But he lived because his malady was not as grave as we had feared, and I know you will find it to be true for yourself and for Alfric and Gifu as well.”

“Hush, Matilda. The only thing worse than a dying man who won’t admit he’s dying is a dying woman whose friends won’t admit she’s dying.”

“I shall not admit it. It isn’t true.”

“Hush, Matilda. I am so very tired of hearing everything you’re saying. I have heard nothing but this kind of talk for weeks. I am tired now.” She paused to cough. “I have finally succeeded in making Cenwulf admit it, and now it is easier between us. Such a lie is like a wall.”

“It’s no lie, dear,” Matilda said, her voice rising along with her tears.

“Let’s talk about something else, Matilda. How is your baby? I haven’t seen her in so long.”

“I could say the same!” Matilda said, trying to laugh. “Alred carries her with him everywhere. He was never this way with the others.”

“I always said that man was a little odd in the head.”

“Oh, I can’t bear to stop him. It makes me think of my father – he used to take me everywhere, too. I wouldn’t think of denying him or her the love we had for each other.”

“It would break his heart to lose her.”

“Hush, Colburga. We mustn’t think of such a thing.”

“I think of nothing else. I forget that others do not. I lost my Margaret.”

“I remember, dear.” She found herself glancing down at Colburga’s belly again. She could swear it was moving. Did she have some dreadful flux as well? Alred never had.

Colburga sighed and then asked, “What about the Princess? I haven’t seen her at all.”

“I don’t think Sigefrith is as convinced of the wisdom of transporting babies on horseback as Alred is. Alred just makes a sling out of his cloak and drops Margaret in, and off they go.”

“I don’t think Sigefrith wants his baby to get sick, that’s all.”

Matilda had no answer to that.

“Oh, I don’t blame him, darling. He’s a good father. I’m only sorry that I shall never see what she looked like.”

“Of course you will, dear. But it’s easy to imagine: she looks quite a lot like Maud, except she has Sigefrith’s chin. Almost the twin of Britamund, although Emma’s face is a bit less square, if I remember how Brit looked as a baby.”

“At least Sigefrith will know that this one is his.”

“Why, of course she is!” Matilda laughed. “Why shouldn’t she be?”

“Oh, Matilda, you don’t seriously believe that Colban is?”

Matilda gaped.

Colburga coughed for a long while, finally dropping her head back on her pillows in exhaustion. “I don’t mind saying so now, since I shan’t be long of this earth to answer for my indiscretion. And I must tell someone, so I shall tell you. I think that boy is Egelric Wodehead’s.”

“What?” Matilda cried.

“He has his color and his dreadful nose. Neither Maud nor Sigefrith is as dark as that baby, and I don’t believe Maud’s parents could have been, either, or she would have been darker herself.”

“But Colburga! That’s impossible! Ridiculous! Egelric would never! No, never!”

“You have to admit they spent quite a lot of time together – alone – in that garden he made her, right around the time that Colban was first thought of. And what’s he doing making a garden for the Queen anyway?”

“Not Egelric, of all people! My God, Colburga, that’s absurd! I don’t think he even likes Maud. And he’s making a garden for Goody Hogge right now – that means I should be looking for a baby from her in a few months, too, I suppose?”

“Perhaps he and Maud have quarreled. But you have to admit, darling, that the boy does not look like Sigefrith and he could be said to resemble that Egelric.”

“Never! I know him too well for that. He’s an honorable man.”

“Perhaps you’re a little jealous, darling?” Colburga laughed.

“Oh, Colburga, you’re dreadful today! I think you’re only teasing me.”

“I don’t know. I still think the baby looks like your husband’s squire, but if you choose to believe him incapable of it, I suppose you know him better than I do. I only find it funny that you don’t seem to think Maud incapable of it. Still, I know you will be keeping an eye on Alred’s squire now,” she smiled.

“You’re dreadful.”

“Will you please stop staring at my belly?”

“I’m sorry, dear. Are you sick?”

“I’m dying, remember? But this is what you think it is: it’s an angry baby.”

“Oh, Colburga!” Matilda said softly. “I had no idea! Why didn’t you tell me? Cenwulf never said anything…”

“I asked him not to tell, dear. I don’t suppose either of us will last until my time comes.”

“Don’t say that, Colburga. You must, now. You must. This is happy news! May I tell Alred?”

Colburga sighed. “This is not happy news. This is one last sorrow before I go. But you may tell Alred.”