Cenwulf is less than stoic

“Cenwulf!” Matilda cried in surprise as the Earl came in to the hall unannounced. “You almost missed me – I was only waiting for my horse to be saddled. And Alred isn’t here at all.”

“I know he isn’t,” he said, and he paused so she could kiss him. “He asked me to accompany you.”

“Wherefore?” she laughed. “I can find my way to the castle alone.”

“I found it a thoughtful gesture,” he said gravely, “and it permits me an act of gallantry.”

“Thoughtful and gallant, you think?” she giggled. “He simply wants you to prevent me from galloping over the downs and breaking Ruby’s leg, or my neck.”

“Then he was right to do so, for I certainly shall prevent you.”

“Where’s Edris? Did you send her galloping over the downs in my place?”

“Edris is not with me.”

“Why not? Isn’t she coming? I thought she would like to meet young Sigefrith’s baby. She does so love babies.” She watched his face carefully, but saw no hint that he understood.

“Edris is not well.”

“Not well? What do you mean?”

“When I went to tell her to dress, I found her lying on her bed alseep – in the afternoon! And she was so pale,” he murmured. “I didn’t dare wake her.”

“Well – ” Matilda began, but she didn’t know what she could say. It was perfectly natural, but – didn’t he know?

“Matilda,” he said suddenly, almost desperately, “I believe you are the closest friend she has here, besides Brandt – and Brandt is prevented by his profession from telling me what she tells him. But, Matilda, won’t you tell me – is she ill?”

“Ill?”

“She hasn’t been well, and I believe she has tried to tell me so, but she doesn’t dare. I don’t know why – do I frighten her so? Tell me, Matilda,” he pleaded. “I don’t know what to do with such a woman. It has occured to me recently that I lived so long with a woman who took care of me, and now I find myself with a woman who needs me to take care of her… and I don’t know how.”

Matilda was speechless. She was certainly not accustomed to such emotional outbursts from her stoic friend.

“I begin to feel like a great lion trying to care for a mouse – I don’t mean to, but I am constantly hurting her – crushing her with my paw, or – do you know what I am trying to say?”

“Not exactly…”

“She’s so delicate.”

“I don’t know…”

“And I don’t mean to offend her, but I am always doing or saying precisely the wrong thing.”

Matilda nodded slowly. “She may very well be surprised when she wakes and finds you gone to dinner without her.”

“Do you think that was wrong?” he asked, growing suddenly pale. “Damn! Do you see what I mean?”

“Oh, my dear Cenwulf,” she sighed.

“But she looked so ill. I thought she would appreciate being left to rest.”

“Cenwulf, she isn’t ill. Didn’t she tell you anything?”

“She only tells me she has a headache, and would like to lie down. But I believe it’s worse than that.”

Matilda frowned. “I would like to tell you what I know, dear, but I am worried about her reasons for not telling you. I wonder whether you have done or said something to make her think…”

“If there was a wrong thing to say or do, doubt not that I have done it!” he said bitterly.

“Oh, my darling,” she said, embracing him, “you’re as awkward as a bridegroom and she’s as ignorant as a maid. What a mess you two are making of the thing.”

“Tell me what you know, Matilda, I beg you.”

“Very well, but if you are a gentleman you will not tell her that I told you, and you will pretend not to know. And don’t tell Alred you learned from me!”