Leila breaks down

Aefen laughed aloud, and his mother suddenly squeezed him tightly against her.

“He looks so like my brother!” Leila gasped.

Aering turned his head to see what his twin had found so funny, but when he saw that it was only a hug, he went back to reaching for his half-sister’s dangling earring. He was certain it was a fascinating object, given how carefully she always kept it away from him.

“This boy looks like mine!” Eadgith said.

“He doesn’t have your father’s mouth,” Matilda said. “Or Sigefrith’s, I mean.”

“No,” Eadgith said, pulling Aeri away from her face so she could inspect his smile. “He has Leila’s little mouth. But it’s as nice for kissing!”

She kissed and kissed her little brother until he laughed and clapped her cheeks with his hands. Aefen still cuddled his mother and did not turn his head.

The ladies had taken the children out into the court in search of relief from the summer heat. Near the pond, in the shadow of the wall, it was cool enough for the babies – but the babies were nearly naked. The ladies were obliged to suffer in their long gowns.

Matilda slouched on the bench and spoke little, Leila was anxious and fretful, and Eadgith was utterly weary, both in her heart and in her body.

There were times when she regretted having become a queen. Sigefrith was the only thing that made it worthwhile, and she had not seen Sigefrith in two months. It was nearly a month since she had had any word to tell her he was well.

She was grateful that her father was there for her. If it had been any other man – Cenwulf, or any other man – she thought she could not have borne it. And yet a great lady would have borne it, and more! And with a smile…

“But they both have Father’s hazel eyes,” Eadgith said. “And Sigefrith’s. Both Sigefriths! Why – they all do, except for Raegan! And me, in fact. Isn’t it funny? Whereas all of Sigefrith’s children have their mother’s brown eyes, except for Caedwulf.”

“My babies are all so brown that your father wants to mark them as his own with his eyes,” Leila smiled. “I love blue eyes.” She kissed Aefen just above both of his.

“They aren’t truly blue, though,” Eadgith said. “They are the hazel eyes of the Danish princesses, just like Sigefrith’s.”

“My brother had blue eyes,” Leila murmured and pressed her face against Aefen’s.

“I have blue eyes from my mother,” Eadgith said, “but anyone can have blue eyes. It takes a special baby to have hazel eyes, doesn’t it, Aeri? Aeri Aeri, aren’t you special? Aren’t you now?”

“Pa!” Aeri said and snatched at the earring again.

“That’s right!” she laughed. “Papa’s eyes! I wish I had our Papa’s eyes! Then I could be certain – ”

She had been about to say that she could be certain that all of her babies would have hazel eyes like Sigefrith’s. She bit her lip. She would not cry. Certainly not before Matilda.

But Matilda’s head hung as if she suffered greatly under the heat, and she did not seem to have heard at all. Or perhaps she had heard, and all of this talk of babies hurt her, too. Sigefrith had said she had been hoping to have another before Alred went away. Perhaps she too knew she wouldn’t. And perhaps she feared, as Eadgith did, that her husband would not return at all.

Eadgith’s heart was moved with pity for the woman. Perhaps she was only unhappy, and that made her hard to love. Eadgith promised herself that she would make an effort to be kinder to Matilda. A great lady certainly would know how to forgive and forget after so long a time.

She opened her mouth to say a kind word, but she redirected it to Leila when she saw that the younger woman was crying into her baby’s neck.

“Oh, dear, Leila! What is it? Do you miss your brother?”

“Oh, no,” she sniffed, recovering herself. “Oh, yes, I do, but that isn’t it.”

“What is it, dear?”

“I mustn’t say, Eadie. I mustn’t. And I love your father! I do!” she said, beginning to sob again.

“Oh, dear! What has he done?”

Eadgith felt chilled despite the heat. Had her father struck Leila as he was supposed to have done her mother? He was so gentle with his daughters that she could not imagine him being cruel to any woman – but she had seen what he had done to her mother once.

Aefen began to whine. He did not like it when his Mama cried. Aeri forgot about the earring and watched her from his sister’s arms.

“Has he hurt you?” Eadgith asked hesitantly.

“No, Eadie, no,” Leila laughed through her tears. “Sometimes I wish he would! He doesn’t even notice me.”

“Now, Leila,” Eadgith scolded gently, relieved. “I see him with you quite often, and he always sits with you and talks with you.”

“About the children.”

“Well…”

“No, Eadie, you don’t understand,” Leila sighed. “I hope you never will.”

“What?”

“You know, Eadie, your husband married you because he loved you. Mine married me because he had no choice.”

“Now, Leila! My father loves you! I know he does. I can tell.”

“You can tell!” Leila laughed bitterly. Eadgith was stung. “Perhaps he did, but he has another woman now, I’m certain of it. Forgive me for saying it, my sister – my daughter – but it is so.”

Eadgith blushed. Didn’t Leila know? He had always been that way, so Sigefrith said, even with his first wife.

“That’s different,” she murmured, hoping Leila would understand. But would she understand in Leila’s situation? Would a great lady? She was not certain even a great lady would.

“Oh, no! Oh, no. He has had other women before. He always had, even in Denmark, even in Ireland. Perhaps you don’t understand, Eadie. He wants things from them he would not ask of me. Some men do. But he loved me. But now he has not women, but a woman. Somewhere – here! I don’t know whom. Perhaps she does everything he likes. But he sees her every night. He comes to bed at dawn and sleeps an hour, and I could be dead in the bed beside him and he would not notice until I began to stink, I think!”

“Leila! No!”

Eadgith glanced at Matilda, hoping the woman would come to her aid. Matilda rocked slightly, clutching her stomach as if she were feeling ill – or–

Eadgith was seized by a sudden suspicion. Matilda seemed to sense it and looked up at her with such a glare of indignation that Eadgith was mortified.

How could she even imagine such a thing? Even after what she had seen… A great lady could not even allow such unworthy thoughts to enter her head. A great lady would not admit such things could be.

“He plays chess with Dunstan at night,” Matilda muttered. She spoke as if she dared not breathe too deeply, as if she were nauseated. It was so hot…

“No, no, it’s not that, Matilda,” Leila said. “I know he does, but there’s a woman too. I can smell her on his mouth, on his hands. I know it. God help me! God help me!”

Aefen began to howl, but Leila only laughed hysterically. Aeri did not know what had come over his twin or his mother, so he decided he had better begin to cry for help as well.

Panicked, Eadgith looked at Matilda, hoping she would get up and take the baby from Leila, but Matilda looked too ill to move.

Suddenly Iylaine appeared at her side.

“Oh, Baby! Thank goodness. Please take Aeri a moment while I help Leila with Aefen.”

Iylaine took Aeri and stood watching silently as Eadgith took Aefen from Leila and attempted to comfort the two of them.

“Oh, my sister!” Leila cried. “Forgive me!”

“Now, Leila,” Eadgith soothed, “it’s only the heat, isn’t it? It makes us all so anxious and upset. Isn’t it so?”

“Yes, yes,” Leila agreed and hugged Eadgith and the baby together.

Aeri lay quietly now in Iylaine’s arms. He never knew what to make of the girl. She was soothing when one was feeling poorly, but she always seemed so unreachable when one wanted to play with her. And now she was scowling at no one in particular, as if she were angry at the world.