Daeglan tries something new

Estrid lay brooding on her bed, having long since finished her crying. No matter how determined she was to cry until Brede came home again, she always found that she quickly tired of it, especially when Hundr came, as he had come tonight, to meow at her and pat at her lips with his little paw until she quieted.

But she was not eager to get up and go about her affairs for all that. If she could not cry, she could at least sulk until Brede came home. It did not occur to her that such tactics could only dispose her husband to delay his return as late as possible. However, she did know that he would not return until after the babies were in bed.

She could hear them in the hall, and Synne playing with them – could hear Dyrne and Synne, rather. Daeglan did not make a sound when he played, for Daeglan did not play.

Dyrne was a bright, active, eager, laughing little thing. Everyone loved Dyrne. But Daeglan, though in size he had far outgrown his sister, was as dull and unreachable as a newborn. Dyrne recognized and loved her mother and father and aunt, but so long as he was fed and kept clean and dry, Daeglan didn’t care who was holding him. He didn’t even care whether he was being held.

The only thing on earth that held any attraction for him was his sister. He would hold her gaze for as long as the restless little girl would let him, and he would cry if she left his sight. But his parents seemed no more than convenient strangers to him.

As the weeks passed, even Brede seemed to begin to despair. Eirik would not have, she thought fiercely – but Eirik was with Whitehand on his island this winter. She was alone with Brede, and Brede even seemed ashamed of his son at times.

It was true that some such babies grew up into tolerably normal adults. Bertie Hogge’s father – though he had not been born dull – had, with the help of a cunning little wife, made quite a success of himself. But everyone knew of other children who never were much more than babies all their lives – and everyone shook their heads and clucked over the foolishness of their doting mothers. Estrid understood them now, but oh! the thought of such children and such mothers lay over her life like a long shadow.

It had been said that it was a shame they had been twins, and that Dyrne had not got the strength that Daeglan had stolen from her, only to put it to no use. It had been said that she and Brede were young, and they would have other sons. It had been said that it might be a relief – that it might be better for everyone – if Daeglan were simply to die.

Brede had not said these things, but she had begun to fear that he thought them.

Daeglan die! Her sweet, fat-​​cheeked little baby who curled and uncurled his toes over and over as he nursed! The darling! She had found the strength to cry again.

Hundr had only just roused himself and begun to grumble when she heard Synne shriek in the hall.

“Estrid! Come quickly! Estrid!”

Hundr yowled as his mistress thrust him aside and fled. Estrid lived each of the seconds it took her to reach the hall as if it were an hour. She nearly catapulted herself over the back of the couch in her haste to see what was happening behind it, where she had left Synne playing with the babies on a rug before the fire – the fire!

But the fire burned tranquilly, and Synne sat staring down at two perfectly intact babies.

“Oh, Estrid, you missed it!” she wailed. “Daeg was smiling!”

Smiling! If only – !

“But, Synne, you know…” she sighed.

“I know, I know, but it wasn’t gas, I swear! It was a real smile. Do it again, Daeg! Show Mama I’m not being silly! Show her!”

Dyrne squealed and wriggled in frustration as she realized that no one was looking at her.

Estrid came around the bench and sat beside Synne. Her heart had not ceased to pound.

“How did you make him smile?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I was eating Dyr’s little feeties, and she was laughing, and when I looked over at Daeg he was already smiling.”

“So, do it again!”

Synne leaned over and began kissing Dyrne on the bottom of her feet, and the baby laughed and shook her hands in satisfaction at being the center of attention again. She didn’t notice that her Mama was watching her brother now.

Dyrne laughed, and Synne cooed, and slowly, slowly, as if he were not yet certain how to do it or even what he was doing, Daeglan began to smile while watching them.

Suddenly his Mama scooped him up and held him before her laughing face. His smile vanished and his arms and legs stiffened in terror. He could not see his sister from this height.

Then Synne lifted up Dyrne so that she was close to him again, and she held her up before her own laughing face. Daeglan saw that this made his sister smile. She was not frightened at all, and she was near. And this smiling woman was the same woman who fed him, and eating was nice. He wondered what would happen if he smiled now – and then he realized he could find out by trying it.

Estrid laughed and cried and kissed his belly and his little curling toes. “Won’t your father be proud!”