Alwy gets a new affliction

“Well, Alwy Hogge!” Hildegith cried.

“Hallo, Hildegith.” Alwy looked miserably at the boot he held in one hand, and then down at his feet, only one of which was shod. No matter how often she came, Hildegith always managed to catch him in an awkward situation.

Hildegith pushed her way past him and looked around the kitchen, sniffing slightly. It was true that Gunnilda’s soup smelled good simmering away on the stove. He could always be proud of his wife, even if he rarely gave her reason to be proud of him.

“What are you doing here, Alwy?” she asked. “Where is everyone?”

“Well, I was just putting a new lace in my boot, is all. Won’t you sit down?”

“Oh, no, I’m not company. I just came to get my girl. Where is she?”

So that explained why she was looking down the hall and all around his house, he thought.

“Oh, well, I don’t know,” he said, attempting to follow her around with his boot still in his hand, “but I guess she and Bertie and Wynn and Anson went down to market.”

“With Gunnie?” she asked, turning to him suddenly enough to startle him.

“Well, I don’t know, but I guess Gunnie went down to Aelfie’s with the babies before they left.”

“Do you always let your children and mine run around like that?”

“Well, I don’t know, but I guess they wasn’t running around. They was walking real slow, on account of the snow.”

“That is not the sort of running around I mean,” she sighed. “I mean letting the girls go out with the boys, and no one around to make certain they behave.”

Alwy blushed as he realized what she meant. “Well, I don’t know, but I guess Anson won’t try nothing long as Bertie’s there.”

“And what will Bertie try?”

“Bertie! But Wynnie’s his sister!”

“Try with my girl! Osgyth!”

“Oh! But he won’t try nothing! Not my boy! I already explained to him.”

“What did you explain to him? I reckon you couldn’t tell that boy anything he doesn’t already know!”

“What?” Alwy wailed.

“I don’t know, Alwy, but I’m just saying – Leof told me he heard some stories about some goings-​​on in Denmark.”

“What?”

“Your boy, and that Malcolm boy, and those two Norse boys, that’s what. I’m just saying, but you might want to ask him.”

“What did they do?”

“Oh! Can’t you imagine, Alwy Hogge? It’s not for me to repeat. You ask your boy if you want to know. I’m just saying. But he better not try that on my daughter. I guess Leof already told him so, but you better keep an eye on him, that’s what.”

Alwy could only gape at her, the indignity of his stockinged foot forgotten in this new affliction.

“And,” the woman continued, “I don’t know, but I’m just saying – you ought to keep an eye on your wife too.”

“What?” he cried.

“Well! I was just down to Aelfie’s, and those babies were there, but Gunnie wasn’t. And you better keep an eye on her as long as she keeps having those black-​​haired, black-​​eyed babies, Alwy Hogge.”

“But – ” Alwy’s head was beginning to hurt. “But Osric has blond hair like me!”

“Not Osric, Alwy! I’m talking about your black-​​haired, black-​​eyed lord, that’s who!”

Alwy sat and dropped his boot on the floor. Surely, he thought, this was a case where he was not understanding what she truly meant.

“But – but Gunnie has black hair and black eyes, too! And so does Wynnie!”

“And wasn’t your Duke bringing his baby here for your wife to mind when you first thought of Wynnie? I don’t know, Alwy, but I’m just saying. You should keep your eyes open, that’s all. You should hear the way he talks to her all the time, real poetic. And the things he calls her!”

“But that’s just jokes, Hildegith!” Alwy cried, relieved that he had at least had this problem explained to him already.

“Well, maybe the joke’s on you, Alwy Hogge! I don’t know, but I’m just saying.” She went to the door. “You just keep an eye on her, that’s all. And on your boy. And I’m telling you I don’t want Osgyth going out alone with your boy any longer. You can just explain him that!”