"My wife is a brilliant and capable woman, but for every nine-and-ninety brilliant and capable ideas she has, she has one idea so incredibly stupid that I never fail to be dumbfounded, though one would think I would have the habit after fourteen years."
Spackbears
Submitted by PorkWithBones on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 18:19.
At bedtime tonight, I asked my six-year-old son to define for me what Spackbears might be. I find his answer amusing enough to share here.
Spackbears are shaped a bit like bears, but they have spots on them. Their spots are like a leopard or a cheetah's spots, but much bigger, like this.
Here he showed me his hand, with the fingers slightly spread.
They live in caves among trees, and do not like to be disturbed. Their fingers are very sharp, but they don't have claws. A grown-up Spackbear only needs to stick one finger into a tree to knock it down. Kaboom! But the younger ones — the juveniles — they need two fingers. And the babies need three, because they are smaller and not as strong.
And they cannot run as fast as cheetahs can, so if a cheetah comes where a Spackbear is, the Spackbear will be angry, and they will fight. But even though the Spackbear is very strong and could win if he could stick a finger in the cheetah, a Spackbear is not fast enough to catch the cheetah. So the cheetah will win, and kill the Spackbear, and take its cave to live in.
He likes cheetahs, so I believe this is his version of a happy ending.
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That is PRICELESS! Did he
Submitted by Lothere on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 18:56.That is PRICELESS! Did he seriously say "the juveniles"?
Edit: Also, if Dunstan ever explains the natural history of the Spackbear to his own son and/or daughter (*cough cough*) would your son mind being borrowed from?
This is beautiful!!!!
Submitted by Tiffany on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 20:35.This is beautiful!!!!
I don't think he would mind
Submitted by PorkWithBones on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 20:52.I don't think he would mind being borrowed from at all. If I were to guess his reaction, he'd probably feel a little shy and very honored. And then he will be so pleased and curious he will ask to read the rest of your story, and I shall have to dissuade him. (Very much my son on all counts!)
Yes, he seriously did say "the juveniles." I think he first said "the young ones," and then clarified, "that's the juveniles, not the babies." He has recently taken up bird watching, and his bird identification guide illustrates the juveniles of some species, if they look much different from the adults. He figured out quickly that they were "like teenagers for birds," and has since classified all his animal friends (real, stuffed, or imaginary) as either grownups, babies, or juveniles.
This conversation started with a question he asks me at least daily: "What kind of animal do you want to be?" I idly told him that tonight I would be a Spackbear. He asked what that was, and I told him it was an imaginary creature that I hoped he could tell me more about. He'd have gone on longer if I'd been willing to let him continue delaying bedtime!