"Matilda Reincarnate... Alred will be having flashbacks followed by an aneurysm."

"What happened to your hair?" — "What happened to your dress?"

"Ach!  Love!  Women think it the solution to all of life's problems, men think it the cause."

"If ever there was a man who could beat some pretty into me, it's Wyn.  He'll probably even leave me symmetrical bruises and make sure the colors don't clash."

"Leofric: You knocked-up my wife! — Alred: No, your wife sent you to me since you knocked-up mine. Now get out of here so I can finish writing this poem to Egelric's wife."

"The devil take you and feed you to his kittens!"

"You have an elegant nose, sir, and I should like to think it would appear on some descendant of mine.  But yours is very cute as well, Kiv."

"One of them is so innocent she'll likely fall into the hands of the first man who reaches out for her, and one of them is so wise she'll likely be the one to do the plucking."

"Ok I really like her and Careballs together....there I said it...I'm team Connie/Carebear."

"Who can flirt within a fifty-yard radius of Father Matthew?" — "One can flirt within an eighteen-degree angle directly behind him.  I have through experimentation and much elaborate geometry proved the theorem."